Conflict Resolution
Sometimes
I subconsciously assign a definition to a word, apply a specific usage for the
word, attach a visual to it so that every time I hear the word, I get the
mental picture to reinforce the assigned meaning, and then I lock it in. There are only a handful of words in my head
that are stuck like this and conflict is one of them. I have tried, but try as I may to change it,
I cannot make it good, healthy, beneficial or anything other
than...well...bad. Initially, we used
the word conflict to describe the wars in Korea and Vietnam. Another of those stuck words is donut. Did you see a pastry, a spare tire, or a wax
seal? I knew it was not just me!
This
material is not new to me. I have been through
it numerous times in training seminars, lectures, and formal courses that I attended
while I was in the Air Force. The natural
assumption would be that I have some expertise on the subject or that I am
comfortable with the process. I do not
and I am not. I am the typical ‘avoider’
Whetten and Cameron describe in the text book (2016). Seriously, like many others, I am
uncomfortable with conflict and confrontation.
Unfortunately, my comfort level never changed the fact that conflict in
the work place is alive and well. I have
been the mediator more times than I care to recall, but have only had an active
role in the conflict once. If it makes a
difference, I was actually the initiator. In my defense, it all started with what I
thought was a simple question. Unfortunately,
this is my only defensible point.
I was a brand
new Master Sergeant at the time. I was
transitioning from the Lead Radar Technician position to Production
Superintendent. I was a few weeks into
the transition at the most and was still having trouble changing my perspective
from specifically focused on Radar issues to generalized focus on every
specialty that works on the aircraft.
(If I knew this then, I would not have admitted it to myself, much less
anyone else.) I was reviewing the
aircraft forms (maintenance records) and I found an entry made by a very good
friend of mine. He was the Lead Electrical
and Environmental Technician. The
problem was in the cooling system for the antenna, my antenna. He explained that there were actually two
problems in the system and to fly the mission he was going to configure the
system in a way I had never seen before (and never saw again). It contradicted my understanding of the
system (again, his system) leading me to believe that if we tried to operate it
would cause significant equipment damage, my equipment. So I asked him if he was positive it was safe
to fly and operate the aircraft configured the way he had it. His confidence faltered a little at that
point and I started pushing. I asked him
to show me the schematics and explain the configuration using his technical
data. When he could not find it right
away, I got mad and made an entry in the forms not to turn on the Radar. This effectively canceled the mission and
infuriated the respondent.
When I radioed
maintenance control with the new aircraft status, my supervision heard and
immediately came out to the aircraft find out was going on. They found the two of us in the middle of a
heated argument. It was something so out
of character for both of us they were speechless. Then my immediate supervisor politely shut us
up and ordered the two of us into his office.
My supervisor, an ill-tempered and mean spirited, Senior Master Sergeant when he was not angry, was
angry. He made it clear he was in charge
despite his boss, a not so scary Lieutenant, sitting at the desk right next to
him. He berated us badly for a minute or
two. He was upset that he came out to
the flight line to find his two level-headed, example-setting Non-Commissioned
Officers fighting like eight year old kids.
Once he had expressed his disappointment in us, he calmed down and asked us tell him what was
going on. He gave us both the
opportunity to talk and we did. My point
was the aircraft was configured in a way not supported by technical data, equipment
damage, mission abort, blah, blah, and blah. The respondent
believed he had found a way to make the evening mission, was sure his solution
was not only safe but it was correct and would not cause equipment damage. His only problem was that it was not in the
technical data. I could not prove my
position with technical data either. And
there we were, at stalemate. We were in an argument
to which there was no correct answer. My
boss asked both of us if we felt that safety of flight is in question. We both agreed that it was not. And, then he dismissed us. Total time in mediation, no more than five or
six minutes and it was over. A few minutes later he called us back in and told
us what we needed to do, praised us both for our concerns and for standing our
ground under pressure, and sent us back out to finish getting the aircraft
ready for crew show.
We did
fly the aircraft, they did complete the mission, and everything operated
exactly as John (the respondent) said they would. This should never have been a conflict. I was the only reason that it did. John and I worked together often. He is, hands down, the best aircraft
electrician I have ever known. I had no
reason to question him beyond what he was doing and when would he be done. So why did I?
Today I know that I lacked confidence in my new job and I did not know
how to handle this out of the ordinary situation, but did not want to admit it (Whetten & Cameron, 2016). I lost focus and reverted back to what was
comfortable, Radar. Flustered, I got the
Radar part wrong too. Then I simply
became defensive. I lacked the courage
and honesty to step back, admit that I was in over my head, and ask for help. I vowed to myself that I would never let it
happen again.
We were
told we got it right; we made our mission and that no one was wrong. I knew
better. Shortly after that, John and I
talked about it and I tried to explain my behavior without it sounding like I
was making excuses. The respondent listened,
understood, and accepted my apology.
That has been 24 years ago and I remember it like it happened yesterday,
almost word for word. This is the first time since John accepted my apology that
I have discussed the incident with anyone.
John and I are still good friends.
Looking
back on it I believe the conflict was handled skillfully by my boss and the
respondent never saw it coming; so, I do not believe they could have handled the
situation any better than they did. For
me, I believe I should have done things differently, but at that time I was
simply unable to do it any other way or to stop it once it started. Hindsight, they say, is 20/20.
Reference:
Whetten, D. A., Cameron, K. S. (2016), Developing management
skills (Ninth edition). Pearson Education, Inc. ISBN:
978-0-13-312747-8. (student edition)
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