Tipping Points of EI
A tipping point is not a term I would have used in my
days as a leader in the Air Force. As
competencies were proposed for the leadership profession by the research
community, testing had to be conducted to determine how well each competency matched
up to what actually was being practiced in the field. Published test results were often met with
criticism for two reasons; 1) measurement methods used to assess the competencies,
and 2) how performance was defined and measured (Boyatzis, 2006). Competencies are necessary because they serve
as the bar between outstanding leaders and effective or average leaders. The question then becomes, how much of a
particular competency must be demonstrated to justify outstanding performance. To answer this question. Researchers borrowed
a tool from complexity theory. That tool
is called tipping point analysis. Boyatzis
(2006) explains that “a tipping point analysis allows examination of how much
of the competency is sufficient for outstanding performance” (p. 124).
Now that we understand what a tipping point is, we can
move forward to the Module4 Blog prompt.
Share instances where you have
experienced a tipping point at work. When you experienced the tipping point,
describe how positive or negative emotional attractors played a role in it.
·
What was the situation?
·
What did you do?
·
What was the result?
·
What would you do differently?
I am assuming that this statement is asking me to
relate an example of a time that I experienced moving from average to
outstanding performance on a particular task.
My first two years in the Air Force was spent learning
the wrong way to do almost everything.
Today I know I was a product of bad leadership. More accurately, my time was spent with
people who never should have been put in charge or called leader. Things were very different from basic training
and technical school. I knew how the Air
Force wanted me to conduct myself, but that was not expected nor was it popular
to do so at my first duty station. There
was pressure, real or perceived, to conform.
Conforming their ways was wrong and I knew it. Not conforming meant that I would never fit in
with my work center. I would be the punch
line for all their jokes. When I finally
sat down and thought through it, I realized there was no choice for me to make. I could not knowingly choose to do the wrong
thing. But I was not relieved nor did t feel
good about it. I was flooded with negative
emotions that I could not process. My
self-esteem or self-worth had crashed, my sense of belonging was gone, and my
attitude was less than desirable.
Normally I am positive
and upbeat. I can usually see the temporary
nature of negativity, but I was stuck. I
was conflicted. I had surely taken
myself off the track that meant training, qualification, and relative success
and I did not know how to correct my course.
This had been building up between my supervisor and I for several months
but had intensified during the last couple of weeks. His approach to me was always negative, mostly
intimidating, and often threatening. The
constantly negative approach he took with me connected me with the negative
emotion attractor and kept me iseeing things with a prevention focus. I do not know what I did to make him angry,
but nothing I tried worked to reverse it.
That morning I got up, pressed my uniform, buffed my boots, and got
dressed like every other day. On the way
to work I promised myself I would not lose control. I wanted it to be settled.
I do not know what he wanted me to do about my uniform,
but it was the reason for his first remark.
I politely referred him to the regulation. He started to say something else, but I
interrupted him. I asked him if we could
find a place and finish the conversation in private and he agreed.
In a one on one setting he was much easier to talk to
and I took advantage. A couple of months
earlier, I apparently put him on the spot and embarrassed him in front of
everyone. I did not recall the incident but
assured him I would never purposely do anything like that. I asked why he did not confront me at the
time, he said at the time he was mad and I was right. I was at a loss for words, but finally asked
him what if he rememberedthe question I asked him that day. He did not recall exactly but it was about
weekend duty, a legitimate question, and he had no answer. He knew he should have known and it
embarrassed him and he blamed me.
Wow. He chose
to keep conflict between the two of us instead of a short conversation with
me. I told him the stress that it caused
me. That it nearly caused me to do
really childish, stupid things and had kept me ill mentally. He admitted that it had affected him
negatively as well but after a day or two passed he felt like it was a petty
matter and did not know how to approach the subject. I told him in my case, immediately, face to
face, and bluntly works best. It was
here that I realized somehow I was controlling the conversation. This was my tipping point. I was stronger emotionally than him and I realized
that the ability to control (or guide) emotions is powerful and at least in
this case could be used to resolve a problem with nobody feeling as though they
had lost.
If I had it to do over again I would understand that I
was equally to blame for the time I suffered through this incident. I could have and would have initiated a
conversation with him with the hope of resolving the issue much earlier.
I had a tipping point during the first feedback
session I conducted.. I was convinced
that the only time feedback was conducted was when someone messed up in some way. It was the only way I had ever seen it done; it
was all I knew. I scheduled the session without
knowing what I was going to say. I tried
my best to provide productive criticism, but when there is nothing wrong, the criticism
comes out sounding like,,; my way is better, try it. Or it simply sounds like bad advice. Right after the advice came the awkward
silence. I could not think of anything
to say and he was not talking. Then it occurred
to me that I should not waste his or my time.
Just talk to him use the time to get better acquainted. When discussions made their way through expectations,
quality maintenance, and numerous relevant subjects, the tipping point was
present, but it was more of an ah-ha moment where it all suddenly made
sense. I realized this was the correct way
to do feedback from the beginning. I have tried other methods in workshops and
training classes, but I have never conducted a feedback session differently
than the first one…I did include being prepared and knowing what I need to talk
about in subsequent sessions.
While shaky in the beginning, when the tipping point occurred
we were solidly in the positive emotion attractor and focused on promotion
factors of advancement, growth, and accomplishment (Boyatzis, 2015). If I had it to do over again, I would seek
advice from a trusted and experienced leader and avoid that bad first 10
minutes or so.
~Pete
References:
Boyatzis,
R.E., (2006) Using tipping points of emotional intelligence and cognitive
competencies to predict financial performance of leaders. Psicothema. 18:124-131. Retrieved from: http://www.psicothema.com/pdf/3287.pdf
Boyatzis,
R.E., Rochford, K., & Taylor, S.N. (2015) The role of the positive
emotional attractor in vision and shared vision: Toward effective leadership,
relationships, and engagement. Frontiers
in Psychology. 6:670. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00670
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